|
Back to the Help Desk
How to Use a Sales Letter to Get Anything You Want!
by Craig Garber
|
Sometimes you reach a milestone in your life, that causes you to
sit back and think about the circumstances leading up to it, and
everything it took to get you there in the first place.
If you're lucky, you can look at your milestones
with some sense of pride and accomplishment.
Other times, you might feel a sense
of "melancholy"... or "sadness".
I recently had an experience that
|
|
|
made me feel both pride
and melancholy, and I'd like to share it with you.
Oh, and in case you're beginning to
think this week's tip doesn't have anything to do with marketing...
Shame On You!
Because in a minute, I'm going to
write a simple sales letter and show you how to use it to make as
much money as you want!
O.K.?
Alright then, let's roll up our
sleeves and dig right in here.
I've got 3 children.
And I don't know your situation, but if you have any
children yourself, I'm sure you'll agree, as your children
reach different milestones in their lives, you
start reflecting on things.
Anyway, my oldest son Nicholas is
14, and... he's a pretty sharp cookie.
He's been a great help to me on a lot
of my projects, and the truth is... he's picked up a thing-or-two
along the way, about direct-response... and about writing copy.
So when Nick recently applied for a job at our local Publix
Supermarket (his first part-time after-school "real" job), I asked
him what he was going to do, to make himself stand out
head-and-shoulders above the crowd.
After all, there were 297 other kids
applying for the same job he was.
And of course, Nick being a chip off
the old block, said...
“I'll Send 'Em A Sales Letter
Dad!”
And so here's a copy of the letter my son sent to the store
manager, immediately after he applied for his job:
1. Hard-hitting attention-grabbing benefit-driven
compelling headline2. Benefit-laden and
curiosity-provoking opening
3. Human-interest story weaved with strong benefits throughout
4. Strong and specific offer backed by specific hard-hitting
key benefits to Publix.
5. Specific call to action (“call me right now”).
6. Compelling reason to act now (in the P.S.)! And...
7. P.S. reinforced with benefits. |
August 10, 2004
Mr. Thomas Peters
Publix Supermarket
“How To Prevent Your
Competition From Stealing Your Best Employee, Right Out From
Under Your Nose!”
Dear Mr. Peters,
As you can see, I have attached a nice, crisp
one
million dollar bill to the top of this letter.
Why have I done this?
Actually, there are two reasons:
-
First, I have
something extremely important to tell you, and with
all the junk you get in your mailbox, frankly I needed
some way to make sure I caught your
attention.
- And second, since what I have to tell you concerns making
money, I thought using a million-dollar bill would be an
appropriate "eye-catcher".
What's this all about? Let me tell you.
If you
want to hire an eager
and enthusiastic entry-level employee, who spends more time
looking for things to do, than wondering what to
do, then this is the most exciting and
important message you will ever read!
My name is Nicholas Garber. I'm a 14 year-old student,
and life-long Plantation resident, about to enter Faber High
School (the public "Faber", not the "private" Faber).
For the last 10 years or so (at least that's how long I
can remember anyway),
I've been
going to your store with
my mom, usually... at least once a week.
And ever since I was 10,
I've been telling my mom, "Mom, as soon as I'm able to work, I'm
going to get a job working in Publix."
Well, needless to say...
That
Time Is Now Here!
You see Mr. Peters, last Friday my dad drove me over to
your store, and I spent a half-hour or so, filling out your
electronic job application.
I realize your staff has loads of applications
to sift through in addition to running your store, but
I wanted to take this brief moment of your time to let you know,
why you'd be losing the employee of a lifetime, if you passed my
application by.
Here's what I can do,
that most other people my age, can't do... and more
importantly... here's how it can benefit you:
- First, I'm a hard-working person! My dad
works harder than anyone else I know. He's always taught me
how important this is... and he's made sure all of us (me, my
brother, and my sister) have earned things along the way.
So I guess what I'm saying is, I'm not afraid of hard work,
and I'm not going to be one of those kids who's always looking
for a break. I know, working hard will help Publix make more
money, and this will help me get better positions and more
money as time goes on.
- Second, I know how important it is, to always
accommodate your customers! I realize, if your
customers are unhappy... and if they stopped shopping at your
store... everyone would be out of a job.
And
that would not be good!
So don't worry -- even though some of your customers may be
cranky and frustrated, I don't really take things like that
too personally, and I'll make sure to always do my best to
make them feel good -- especially the ones who are "having a
bad day". And...
- Lastly, I’m really excited about the opportunity
to earn money! So, if I'm scheduled to work...
outside of serious illness or an act of God, I promise you...
I'll
be there, and... I'll be there on time!
If I sign up to work a shift, you won’t ever have
to worry about me not showing up! This means you'll never be
short-staffed and having to run around asking someone else to
work late... pay overtime... or banging out the phones to
hopefully find someone who can come in early or on their day
off, on my account.
Anyway,
if you want to bring me
in for an interview, please call me right now. My phone number
is 954-xxx-xxxx (actually, that's my dad's cell
phone), and if I'm not around when you call, I promise to call
you the moment I get back.
Thank you for reading this letter and I hope to see you,
and start working for Publix, really soon!
Sincerely,
Nicholas Garber
P.S. Since school's starting on the 16th of August, I'm in the
process of applying to a few different places to work, so I can
get my schedule sorted out. But the truth is... Publix really
is my first choice. |
Then, my son stapled the million-dollar bill to the top of his
letter, and next we tucked this little gem safely away in a
flat-rate U.S. Postal Service Priority Mail Envelope.
After this, we watched "Starsky and Hutch" with the rest of
the family.
Monday morning we dropped the letter
into our mailbox, and we waited.
|
Wednesday afternoon around 2:00, I got a telephone call from
Mr. Thomas Peters, the manager of our local Publix. He was looking
for Nick.
He mentioned to me how amazing this
letter was... that he had never seen anything like this before...
and how impressive my son was.
I agreed on all counts, and after
thanking him for his call, I handed my son the phone.
|
|
|
Mr. Peters (a very nice man, by the
way) told my son, he
really was looking to hire people who could work evenings.
Unfortunately, Nick can't work past 6 p.m., because Publix won't let
kids do this until they're 16 years old.
But because of the letter Nicholas
sent, Mr. Peters said he just had to speak to him and bring him in
for an interview anyway.
He told him...
They would create a position
for
someone who was this impressive!
The next day, Nick went on his very
first job interview and "bam", just like that, he's got his first
job and he starts training next week!
Now, let's get to what's really important here.
And that is...
How you can use a
simple letter
like this, to make you a fistful of rupees!
So let's get right to it!
First of all, the real reason this
letter worked so well, is because:
-
It really
did make my son stand out. Trust me, no one else sent in
anything, and if they did... it certainly wasn't like this.
-
It evokes an
emotional response throughout, especially in the list of the "3
ways" Nick can benefit Publix.
- And lastly, it works on the "fear of loss" emotion.
If Publix doesn't grab this kid, they're going to get some other
lethargic 14 year-old instead!
You'll notice, I've pointed out the 7 Critical Components Of
Your Sales Message, in the margin to the left of Nick's letter... to
coincide with the list I gave you on your
“Now At Last, Here's A 100% Risk-FREE And Guaranteed Way To Take All
The "Guess Work" Out Of Your Sales Copy!” web page.
Also, I've highlighted some of the
text in yellow.
Let's take a look at each of these components, and see how,
with very little modification... you can use a letter
almost exactly like this, to sell whatever it is you want
to.
O.K.?
- Your Headline: Let's say you're my friend
Neil Stafford, and you're selling subscriptions to your
internet newsletter.
Maybe you'd have a headline that says something like...
“5 Proven Ways To Make Money
Online In 31 Days
Or Less, Without Working Yourself To Death... Without Having To Be A
Computer "Geek"... And Without Having Any Products Of Your Own To
Sell!”
That would be O.K., wouldn't it?
- Your opening Line: First of all, you should
know, that the famous "dollar bill" opening, was developed and
perfected by my friend (and the world's greatest living
copywriter), Gary Halbert.
And in fact, using a "grabber" attached to your sales letter,
along with an opening line like this, is a sure-fire way to
dramatically improve your response rates (and your cash-flow, of
course).
Here's another thing you can use, if for example... you're one
of the best video cameramen around, like my friend Steve Beverly
(telephone number 954-771-1607), who's shot footage for the Fox
Network... ESPN... and QVC?
Maybe your opening line could say something like:
“If you want to use network-ready video footage that sells
like crazy... with edits that are literally seamless... and...
that makes you look as attractive on T.V. as a supermodel on the
runway, then this is the most exciting and important
message you will ever read!”
And what about...
- Your actual story or sales message: A client
of mine, Ian Kelly, is the owner of an
English Candy distributor called "English Delights".
Ian distributes English "Rock"
(which is shaped like a candy-cane here in the U.S., but tastes
like no other hard candy of it's kind -- it's simply "lovely" as
the British say) and he could open up with something like this:
“Did you know, since 1816 when the first roll of rock
candy slid off the old sugar-boiler's press... 14,237,612 rolls of
rock have been sold, and each-and-every one of them have been made
the exact same way that very first roll was?
It's true!
Each stick of Coronation rock is
individually hand-made using the same recipe the Queen once
called, "sweeter than the morning dew"” blah... blah...
blah...
That's not a bad way to start a
pitch for a somewhat mundane product, now is it?
See, this stuff is easy once you get rolling!
All you need to do is apply a little
creativity to your marketing, and before you know it, you've got
something to work with!
Here, let's press on before I get
thrown totally off-track.
- Your offer: What if you sell Petroleum Gas
to heat people's homes, like the company my brother works for?
Your offer may say something like this:
“Why should you switch your gas company? After
all, doesn't each one of us seem to be exactly the same
as the last one -- when we want your business, we're smiling
ear-to-ear.
And then when you need us, we're
nowhere to be found, right?
Well, we're a little different.
See, first of all... we don't pretend to be something we're not.
For example, we don't claim to have the best gas,
not by a long-shot. After all, "gas" is "gas", right?.
That's like saying the tap water on
57th street is better than the tap water on 55th street -- and
that just doesn't make any sense, does it?
But, here's where we are a little
different: First of all, when we tell you we're going to
make your delivery between 9 and 11...
We're actually there between 9 and 11!
And we also guarantee, if your heater
breaks, one of our 23 "Mobile Service Squad" cars, will be
there within 24 hours -- or else your next month's gas
bill is on us!
And finally, we're so confident you'll be pleased with our
service, we're willing to make you the most irresistIble offer
you've ever heard!
In fact, my boss over at corporate
wanted my head on a platter, the first time I offered this -- but
now, he calls me twice a week to congratulate me! And here
it is:
"Use our service for 3 months. If we don't hold up our
end of the bargain, we'll go away and never bother you again...
Plus... we'll reimburse you for all
the gas you've paid for during that time!"
Sounds nuts right?” Yadda, yadda, yadda...
See, that's the kind of knock-you-off-your-socks offer
that's going to attract new customers like a brand new attraction
at Disney World attracts visitors.
Make sense?
Good then. Let's move on.
- Your compelling reason to act now: Let's say
your my client Ewen Vile, over in Auckland, New Zealand... and
you're trying to get people to use your lawn-service.
Maybe your compelling reason could be this:
“If my offer sounds even remotely appealing, I
urge you not to hesitate signing up. Right now, I've got 5 time
slots left open in your area, and once they're gone...
That's it!
You'll have no other way of taking
advantage of this offer ever again! (I've had a 100%
customer retention rate since 1998, so no time slots in your area
are very likely to be open for quite some time, if ever.)”
See, that's a very believable reason, and by backing it up with
"reason why" copy as well, you make your case an iron-clad one.
- Your call to action: This one's easy:
“To order our famous ex-spouse repellant, grab your
Mastercard, Visa, or American Express credit card, then pick up
your telephone and call my toll-FREE 800 number
(1-800-xxx-xxxx) right now. Operators are standing by to
take your order anytime, 24 hours a day - 7 days a week.
And don't forget to ask for your FREE
book, "How To Make Sure You Never Ever See Your Ex
Mother-In-Law, Ever Again!", if you are one of the first
17 callers.”
- And lastly... your P.S.: One of the safest
things to do when you write your P.S., is to re-state one of the
strongest benefits of either your offer... your guarantee... or
your actual service or product you're selling.
Sort of like this:
“P.S. Remember, time is not on your side here. You
will not "magically" lose weight simply by thinking about
it... hoping for it... or praying for it to happen.
And remember, with your 6-month
100% better-than-risk-FREE money-back GUARANTEE, you have
literally absolutely nothing to lose -- except your anxiety...
your fears... and your sense of powerlessness! But...
Ordering this package, may very well...
change... your life!”
Anyway, like I said... if you want a more in-depth and
candid explanation of the 7 Critical Components Of Your Own Sales
Message, check out this web page, right now:
“How To Dramatically Boost Your Sales Copy: A Risk-FREE And
Guaranteed Way To Take All The "Guess Work" Out Of Your Sales Copy
And Give It An Instant "Overhaul"!”
As far as my son goes, I'm really proud of him. He's taking
his next step and going off into the world, learning how to make his
own way in life... and in business.
Of course, at the same time... I'm
terrified because of all the bumps in the road I know he's going to
come up against.
But, if I were a betting man... I'd
bet heavily, he's going to handle things just fine.
The exciting, and yet somewhat "sad"
part of this is, I know Nick will be around the house a little less
now.
And for all the excitement that goes
on around here (and Lord knows some days I wish it were less), I'm
really going to miss that he's not here as much, very dearly.
*************************
"Craig
Garber is
America's Top Direct-Response Copywriter. You'll find hundreds
of marketing tips to increase your sales, and his insanely popular FREE Direct-Response Marketing
Tip Of The Week, on his website,
www.KingOfCopy.com.
Copyright © Craig Garber. All rights
reserved."
|
|
